Exam season is ahead- and it will all be okay.

 

Hello all! As you have seen the title, you can probably assume why I haven’t been writing recently. My exams are literally weeks away so a lot of my time has been revising and preparing for these things. Are some of you in the same situation? Or is there someone you know who’s going through this?

These exams can be particularly important. Whether that is through school or at college, things may be getting on top of you a lot. Although this may make you think it is all you need to be doing in your spare time, it really isn’t. Revision is important of course, but so is having the time to relax and take a break or you will burn yourself out.

Also, each time you attempt to revise do you always feel in the right headspace to take in information? Sometimes, I simply don’t have enough concentration and motivation to want to revise. The solution to this? Break. Walk away. Go for a walk. Get some food. When you feel happier with your mind set, go back to your work and see whether this break has helped. I find that is usually does.

Take small sessions of revision. Don’t do hours and hours worth of work and finish feeling unbelievably exhausted and unwell but don’t do 5 minutes then feel this is enough. Try and get a good balance. Do a half an hour or an hours worth of work and take a break. As long as you do a bit revision each day or whenever you can, it will really go towards your exam and your grade will represent the time and effort you gave to revision.

I know so many people feel nervous, on the edge and at the height of being stressed through this time of the year but remember that all you can do is your best. If you are revising and putting in the effort with revision and work, you will go far. When I go in to an exam, I feel so nervous and so convinced that I’m not going to pass however, I need to remember how much revision I have put in to get me to this exam. I’ve done so much to succeed so we should bring this into an exam rather than questions like “I’m not going to pass” “I’m going to fail” “I wont be able to do what I want to do” “I wont get onto year two” “I will have to redo this for another year” When you get into that room, are all these questions going to help you? Is this the best attitude to have just before you begin? No because this will most likely make you feel worse and even more nervous than ever.

Breath. Breath gently and slowly and tell yourself that everything is going to be okay. As long as you try your best and give it your all, that all you and everyone else can expect you to do. There are so many people around you who know you can just try your best. All the time and revision you have put in will pay off.

If you are worrying about not doing enough revision, think this through. When is your spare time and when are you going to be able to fit in small bite worth of work to put your mind at ease? Try and do small sessions of it whilst you are free and this will make you feel more productive about your work. Try as best as you can not to panic. From now to the exam, put some time in. But also find some time to relax. Balance is key.

revison all be worht it

revison seems impossible

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Everything will be okay. All you can do is your best when you enter that exam room. Go in with a optimistic attitude and do your best, that’s all you can do.

Until next time,

Asha

 

 

This world can be a struggle, but we can stand tall.

This world can be challenging. It can have a tendency to throw you to the floor as things are looking up and it cant always be so easy to “get up and brush yourself off”. So many problems happen which fill our brains until the only option left is to explode like a grenade. There are so many obstacles that we are faced with throughout our lives and some of them take longer to get over than others.

Sometimes, this world knocks us down and we need a bit more time to get up again. We need the time to heal and the time to fix ourselves. Heartbreaks, deaths and sadness effect us more than others think. It can’t always be easy to just “shake it off” and “smile”. Whilst there are things we struggle to do, there are some things we can do to help ourselves. I see ourselves as cars in a garage. When we need fixing, we are taken to be fixed and whilst cars can be fixed almost immediately, we are not so similar. When there are issues in our lives that continue to break us, we can’t just see someone and talk t0 them and then be totally fine again. We take constant fixing.

We are left with so many wounds in this world. As we grow, we also get stronger. We can sometimes use plasters and bandages to help us heal but sometimes, we are left with wounds that won’t heal by simply covering it. We give it time. Time to heal and time to allow us to build ourselves up again.

Breakups are the absolute worst. When this happens, we remain with too many questions on our minds. “Is it my fault they don’t love me anymore?” “What could I have done better?” “It this all my fault?” “I hate myself” “They always deserved better” I ask you, what good will all this do? The aftermath of this hurts. We feel low and even responsible for the situation sometimes but this is going to stop hurting soon and we are going to heal.(It might just take some time so hang on in there lovely people)

I believe truly in the saying “Everything happens for a reason”. This friendship or relationship that may have broken down is going to be hard to accept and is going to leave you with so many differing emotions. Have you ever thought of why this may have occurred? I have met so many people in my life already where either something has happened but broken down or something simply doesn’t happen. Why does this happen? Why does this end like this? I have left a lot of people in my past, brought a lot of people to my present and look forward to meeting the people I will have in my future. If a breakup occurs and you are finding it hard, try and look to what your future will hold. There are going to be so many exciting aspects to your future and so many new people to love and learn from. I really do believe that I will find someone in time, when my life is ready for the right person and it doesn’t seem to be in this moment in time (and that is okay 🙂 )

When life kicks us down and makes us scruff our knees, stay down there for a moment or two and put your life into perspective. Each and every day, we are given positive aspects. Depending on the type of person you are, this can even be a little positivity.

We wake up every day and most of us are healthy and alive. We open the curtains and the sun peeks through. We can also be welcomed with such amazing people throughout our day too who make us grateful for their presence. We all wear such beautiful smiles and laughs that go towards a lot.

If you are alone and you see a mirror, smile into it. Looking back at you will be a beautiful human being who is worth SO much. They will be talented and kind and will mean a lot in this world. All of us mean everything to someone else in this world. That may be a family member, a friend or even someone we wouldn’t even expect.

Even if it is just for a day, try looking up. Smile as much as you can and love as much as your heart can allow. Another person told me that my smile can brighten up a room the other day. Do you know how happy I was to hear that? The possibility of changing another person’s entire mood can be such a remarkable thing to be able to do. Try and look to the good aspects of your life in comparison to the not so good aspects. I feel that it would really help you as a person. If you try it and it works, it will make you a much more positive person and someone who can be a lot happier. (Go on, try it)

Until next time,

Asha

 

Let’s make irrational thoughts rational.

Hello all! How are you all feeling today? Have you been up to much? How many times do you think you have laughed or smiled today? (I hope it’s lots) Now I am going to talk about a psychologist theory which is discussed in the cognitive approach.

Now do any of you feel you may experience irrational thoughts such as assuming the worst about something, jumping to conclusions or thinking something that isn’t actually true? I bet there are a lot of us who think “I must be accepted and liked by everyone” “I must do well in everything I do” “The world must give me happiness” And if this doesn’t happen, we feel bad about ourselves.

Why should our thoughts make us feel low? Why should we be convincing ourselves that all these things must happen otherwise we wont feel completely happy?

Have you ever seen someone you know whilst out but they don’t speak to you so therefore you automatically believe that they don’t like you so therefore nobody will like you and that you are worthless which then makes you feel like avoiding more people afterwards. Our irrational thoughts lead us to feel upset and in some cases, even depressed. Why should we allow this to happen? Let’s turn those irrational thoughts into rational.

What if that friend that “ignored” you simply didn’t see you? What if instead of jumping to a conclusion, you contacted them saying that you saw them and find out what happened. Maybe they were rushing so didn’t realise you were there? Ask someone before assuming something and it’ll save you a lot of destructive thinking.

When something happens, like seeing a friend out is called the activating event, the thoughts that you feel are called the belief and the feeling of wanting to avoid others is called the consequence. Now here are the disputing beliefs. With what you are feeling, is it logical so does it make sense? Where is the proof that this belief is accurate? and how is this belief going to help me? Is it useful? If you think about that when something happens, it may help you to understand why you are feeling this way and how to change this irrational attitude.

If someone goes to see a therapist, the therapist will do something called the unconditional positive regard which means they will challenge those thoughts that you hold. They will convince you of your value as a human being and help you to feel better about yourself. This will facilitate a change in beliefs and attitudes.

So next time, when something happens for example you see all your friends in a coffee shop, go to join them and they are laughing before you assume the worst, ask yourself what else it may be. Maybe they are laughing at a joke or a memory? Don’t assume it is about you. Ask yourself whether your belief makes sense, is accurate and if it is useful.

This irrational thinking can put such a strain on ourselves and make us think the absolute worst. Try and ask yourself whether what you are thinking is right and how you can make this thought more positive. It will make you feel a whole lot better. Don’t let these thoughts control you and don’t assume that they are correct. Positive thoughts leads to a positive attitude where smiles, laughs and beauty will shine through.

Until next time,

Asha

Are men and women really equal?

Nowadays, many people class both men and women to be equal and on the same level. Would you agree? Do you think we still face gender inequality? I know that over the years, women’s rights have been fought for so this has been the main focus but I will be looking at men and what they go through.

A man and a women who are in the same job, it is most likely that the man will earn more money than the woman even if what they are doing is exactly the same. I agree that this issue has greatly improved but it still isn’t fair that both genders aren’t getting the equal treatment.

Did you know that married men commit suicide at a higher risk in our society. A married man can work in order to support his family. When a man faces an assault by his partner, we as a society are indifferent to him. “Maybe he deserved it” “He’s lying” “Men are stronger” “He must of been hurting her” A man has been severely hurt by his girlfriend, wife or partner every 14.6 seconds. A man is battered by his spouse and there is no shelter available for men to retrieve to. The government which would (in our minds) protect this innocent individual but instead, will imprison him if he is falsely accused by his partner for assaulting them. The consequences of this is the man loosing his job, his money, his home, alienated from his children as well as being subjected to social shame. If all this is capable to happen to a man, no wonder they feel as if they have nothing left. After a person loosing all his money, his children and his social image, there is no help for them as they drown in this mess. Many turn to alcohol and into a deep misery as they feel as though they have nothing. Depression can be an aspect of this disaster which can even lead to suicide This is a global issue and is why the men’s suicide statistics exceeds the women’s. In the UK it is 4,552-1493. So many men think suicide is the only option for them and this is a real problem that this world faces. What are we going to do about it? This example on abuse is but one problem that men face. They are stereotypically subject to being named “weak” “pathetic” “unemotional” and a “wimp”. When men report assaults, it more than likely that they won’t be taken seriously, not as much as a women might be.

Although there is the flipside concerning women including indifferences in jobs, abusive relationships and the typical view in society, I believe that men’s side of inequality tends to be forgotten more than not. As long as we are aware that men have feelings too and go through some of the problems that women also experience. Things must change.

I know this is quite controversial, and although I am not forgetting women’s issues that they face, I am simply highlighting men’s issues too.

Until next time,

Asha

 

Be grateful for what you have, others may not be so fortunate. 

Hello all. I hope you are well and that you’ve had a lovely few days! Has it been nice weather? Have you been smiling and laughing? What has been the highlight of your day today? I always say, try and think of the positives, there’s always going to be one there. 

Now have any of you heard of the Japan earthquake that’s just occurred? How many people do you think have been effected by this? How many have lost their lives? How many are injured? Do we really think enough of what is going on in this world and how much hurt this situation has caused. 

Nowadays, many of us want the latest phone or the best clothes when there are plenty or people out there who just want one thing- the chance to survive. They simply want food and water. When we arrive home, a lot of us are fortunate enough to have all this waiting on the kitchen table for us. I’m not saying that we should feel guilty for this, I am just reminding people to be grateful and keep in mind how lucky we really are. 

There are so many things in life that we “need” so badly but I ask you, do we really need the latest phone? Do we really need to buy £15 worth of fast food? Do we really “need” all these things when there are people out there nowhere near as lucky. 

If you live in Britain, you will know that in comparison to other countries, we are lucky. We can usually access food and water easily. We own so many lovely things and have a reasonably safe and secure life. If you compare this to Iraq, we are a much happier place. We are not effected in a pit full of war or a place full of violence and uncertainty. We feel quite safe and don’t venture through the day wondering whether we will live or die. We are so so lucky in comparison so I feel that, as a unison we should take the time to remember how fortunate we really are. 

I want all the countries involved with war and violence to know my thoughts are with you all. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to live in such a place. A place where you feel utterly unsafe and utterly terrified. I wish you to remain positive and I pray that this will all be over soon. Hang on in there you brave brave people. 

Those of you who are experiencing natural disasters in your country such as an earthquake or tsunami, I truly hope you are riding through this okay. It is a terrible accident and I just wish that such a mess wouldn’t occur. So many lives are effected by these disasters. Innocent lives are taken, oblivious lives are destroyed and the atmosphere is shook so violently. I hope you can all get back from this and remain as optimistic as possible for the light at the end of the tunnel. It is there I promise.

Now don’t feel as if this post is a rant or a dig at our fortunate lives, it is simply a reminder of how lucky we really are, especially when in perspective with other not so lucky countries. 

Take a moment or two to realise just how much we really have.

Until next time,

Asha 

We are all but explorers trying to find ourselves.

Are you planning on seeing the world? Have you already visited some places? Do you have a list of places you want to travel when you have the opportunity to do so?

I find that travelling is like a book, and those who don’t travel are simply reading one chapter. I’ve not been to many places in this world, but in the future I feel like there would be many countries I would love to visit.

I’ve never seen the statue of liberty, I’ve never seen the opera house in Sydney, I have never visited the states of America and I have never been to Amsterdam where I could experience the river in a boat and the Anne Frank’s annex. There are so many things I want to see in my lifetime and there are so many landmarks that I want to see for myself. Are there many places you want to visit? If you get the opportunity, don’t hesitate. We have a lifetime to see this beautiful world that we live in so if you are in a position that makes it hard to travel (Maybe money is an issue or you are in education) you will have the chance to go in time, just you wait.

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When you visit all these places, the memories get stored and you will have them with you forever. We see these places through social media, the news and we hear about them but is that the same as really experiencing them yourself?

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If you have a list of all the places you want to go, try and narrow it down. Life is meant to be explored. This world is waiting to be discovered.

Until next time,

Asha

 

 

Time goes quickly, make it count.

We never really understand just how quick time goes. When we are young, all we want is for time to hurry up yet as we grow up, we wonder where the time actually goes.

There are some said where we just need a night off, and that’s completely okay. There’s also many other nights where we all feel like we need to get out, enjoy ourselves and make it count. Recently I’ve been spending my evenings socially and ensuring that I make the most of being off on holiday. When we have the extra time, why not be spontaneous and go and do something you’ll love? What do you have to lose? 

I love making plans that are absolutely utterly spontaneous. One minute you’re at home wishing you were out and before you know it you are out getting some lovely fresh air and embracing the gorgeous evening that it is. Time passes us quicker than anything else, make the most  of your time and make it something you will never forget.

Feel like entering a competition? Go for it. Your friends want you to go out with them for a walk? Do it. Before we know it, time has passed and we wonder whether we have done all we wanted. 

Do you feel guilty for not going out enough? Try and make those arrangements, it’s a two way street remember. You want to spend some time with your family? Go out and enjoy yourself, they won’t be waiting forever. You haven’t done enough revision? Make some time for it, it will pay off in the end. Recently I feel like I’ve had a healthy balance of all these things and it’s made me feel so great as a person. There are so many friends out there who would love to see you, a family that would appreciate your presence and some grades that could be yours, if you work for it. 

Being a teenager, I know time passes quickly. I left school a year ago yet it feels like only yesterday. I’ve had the best memories with some people and yet they are not a part of my present anymore and I know I am due to meet some fantastic people for my future. Live for the moment because time won’t pause for you. Laugh loads, smile often and enjoy the moments you have. 

The best feeling in the world would be not regretting a thing. Don’t regret not going out with those groups of friends, don’t wish you went out for that walk with your family and do not look back and think you didn’t do enough. As long as there’s a healthy balance and you are happy, that’s all that matters.

Before we know it, we’ll be watching our life through our minds and we should love everything we have accomplished. Even if you do regret parts of your past, try not to because at one point it was all you ever wanted. 

Until next time, 

Asha 

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

Do you believe in stereotypes? When you see a hooded man, do you feel uneasy? When you see a group of teenagers, do you suspect trouble? When you see a homeless man, do you immediately blame them for the situation they are in?

Something remarkable happened today. As I was waiting in town, I saw some young boys who must have been around thirteen who were swearing loudly and bringing attention to themselves. I could hear people walking past saying how much of a disgrace they were and many people were shaking their heads at them as they walked by. I was standing there just people watching when a homeless man walked over to the boys asking for money. The boys stood there quietly for a few moments as the man went to sit in a shop window. I looked in admiration as the boys were searching their pockets for change. One of the boys even gave the man a note. I’m not saying that constantly doing this is always wise, but it was a lovely thing for three young boys to do spontaneously.

The most unsuspecting people are the ones to surprise us in this world. The big strong men who look “dangerous” can be the ones to be the best dads. The young girls who dress “inappropriately” can also be the ones with the kindest hearts. I feel like jumping to a stereotype to each person we see on the street is wrong. Are you aware of their story? Do you always know what this person is going through? We may walk past someone who is going through hell and we wouldn’t even know. Bear that in mind before judging somebody because, I’m sure they have a reason.

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be kind always

each person is unique

Remember, everyone has a story. Don’t judge and don’t stereotype, nobody is what they seem.

Until next time,

Asha

 

 

 

Every life lost is important.

Did you know that in the past month, 65 died in Lahore in Pakistan, 5 died in Turkey, 31 died in Brussels, 41 died in Iraq, 22 died in Nigeria, 16 died in Peshawar in Pakistan, 37 died in Ankara in Turkey and 16 died in Ivory coast. Terrorism has no religion. I want each and every person who lost their lives to terrorism to be remembered and thought of individually.

In November, the Paris suicide bombing occurred which sent shockwaves all around the world and caused heartache to those who were effected by the attack. Did you know that it wasn’t just Paris that suffered? On November the 4th, Egypt suffered from a suicide bombing that killed 3 and injured 10. Terrorist attacks also occurred in the Lebanon killing 6, Baghdad in Iraq killing 12 and injuring 15, Chad where 5 people lost their lives and 14 became injured, Cameroon where 5 died and at least 20 were injured, Beirut where 43 died and 240 were injured and Nigeria where over 50 were killed and hundreds were injured. Although 137 people lost their lives to the Paris attacks and 368 suffered from injuries in Paris which pulled countries together to stand tall against terrorism. Social media was filled with respect for the Paris attacks and love, support and appreciation was given to this disaster, but why weren’t the other countries?

Wherever an incident like this happens, regardless of the area or magnitude of the situation, each death and individual effected by the mess, it should be publicised and made aware of. As I looked at the news, no other country was shown on the media in comparison. I find it such a shame because these other places need the same recognition for what has occurred. It is still innocent lives being taken and it is still normal lives being turned upside down. If these other places were made aware of, each of us could take the time to think about these hundreds of lives being wiped off the earth.

I still completely agree with what happened in Paris and how much of a catastrophe it was. So many innocent lives were taken and places thought of to be safe were destroyed. Whilst we take a moment to think of those who were effected by the suicide bombings in Paris, also take the time to remember those innocent people in the other countries who weren’t given as much publicity. Just because it wasn’t as big, doesn’t mean it isn’t as important. Any life lost is important.

I just felt like this topic needed to be addressed. I hope we can take the time every once and a while to think of those lives that were taken. Beautiful people who had no idea of what was going to happen.

Until next time,

Asha

The clouds will clear, my dear.

“It may take time but things do get better.”

Have you ever seen a dark cloud in the sky that it eventually pours down with rain? The light is hidden when the rain hits the ground but after a while, the clouds clear and the sun peaks through the cracks. Things get brighter at the end. If it’s still dark, it’s not over yet. Just hold on.

We’ve all been in a situation where we haven’t felt our best. This may be a small problem, or it might even be a big problem, but it still causes us to feel low. When a problem occurs, please remember that it wont always be like this. For example, a break up. Although it is a painful experience, it does get easier. Your heart begins to heal within time. Plus it can be beneficial to look at the positives in a bad situation. They say that there is a positive to every negative and I think this can apply in most cases.

Have you recently split up from your boyfriend? Although this is absolutely horrible, have you ever thought that maybe this can lead to some time for you to work on yourself and put yourself first for once. Have you lost someone in your life? Although you are going to miss them terribly, remember that they are an angel in heaven and a star in the sky looking over you.

It can be hard sometimes to help others when there isn’t many words to say. Going through a difficult situation can be experienced much easier if a positive attitude comes with it. Positive thoughts and positive minds. It can be an easier process if you are looking for that beaming light that is there at the end to greet you. Our lives constantly throw challenges at us and there are moments when we feel as if we have fallen down. Brush yourself off, look up, look forwards and try your best to believe that things will get better. Not long now petal, just hold on.

Saying that, do you take advantage of the people around you who are there to help? It can be hard when some people say “I’m always here for you” when some people don’t necessarily mean it but those who do, hold close to you. Those types of friends and family who catch you when you fall, dry your eyes when your makeup is smudged or who give you a shoulder to cry on are the people who you need in your life. Relying on those around you doesn’t make you “weak” or “needy”, it is just accepting and acknowledging the love and support around you. Nobody is alone in this world. You are not alone.

There are also those days where it is okay not to be okay. It is just a time where you want nothing more than to get in bed, eat some chocolate and do nothing. Some days, this isn’t possible. Just try your best to lift your head up high and get through the day. Appreciate the love around you and don’t let the world defeat you. Treat the world how it didn’t treat you. It will honestly get better my love, I can assure you of that.

Some days all it takes is to look in the mirror and smile at yourself. You may feel as small as a mouse and have zero percentage of self esteem but just assure yourself that you are not going to always feel like this. It may just be one of those days and it may be a case of putting one foot in front of another. I tell you, that is okay.

faith get better

i made it

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treat the world better than it treated you

Much love people and use that smile, it’s beautiful.

Asha