Friendships. Old and New.

Sometimes it can be difficult to deal with change. People move on, people move away, things happen which can be unexpected and cause things to be really weird but yet we are told to get on with it and deal with what happens. I find that it can be hard to drift apart from people who we once called our best friends and make unlikely bonds with those who were once strangers. Change can be tough.

I miss the people who used to be in my life. The type of people who no longer made any effort or put other things first and left you in the lurch. It can be hard to cut ties with people who once meant the world to us but remember, friends are everywhere. As one friendship may wither, another may blossom.

From coming to university, I have sadly lost contact with quite a few people and it can be sad. You miss the type of people who made you laugh, you shared memories with and called your closest friends, but as sad as it is, friends do come and go. Although I have lost people in my life, I have also made new friends along my journey. It can be hard, but I feel that everything happens for a reason.

However on the other hand, not keeping in touch with some people and drifting apart due to being at uni for example, doesn’t mean that a friendship is gone. I speak to quite a few people after ages due to being busy, and the friendship is exactly the same. It is like no time has passed which can be so nice because they are the type of people you will stay friends with, even if it isn’t regular visits or communication. I have some friends who also go to uni and we both know how hard it is to phone and catch up so time can take hold, however when the time comes when we do catch up, it is so nice because nothing has changed. Some friendships are still going to be as they were before.

I feel that when some people drift apart from you, and are taken on different paths, it can be hard to accept. You start thinking “Why did they leave?” and “Is it my fault?” however I feel that some friendships do just stop because they are going on to other destinations and taking different routes to you so it does die out. I find that not everyone you loose is a loss. Some happen for a specific reason that you may not find out about straight away but it happens anyway.

It has been so nice to find people at university and make friends through there because there are so many ways to do it. You meet lovely people through your course, your flat, through clubs and societies, your halls site and through the uni itself. It can be so nice to get to know other people and form friendships there because sometimes you realise why other friendships had to wither away.

If you have drifted apart from someone and you don’t think it should of, and you are worried about it or missing them, try and get back in touch with them. See if it is still the same and whether or not there is still a friendship there left to salvage. I think if you make an effort with some people and put the time in, there are going to be people you can keep in your life and have as friends. Some friendships just need directing back to the same path as you. Guide it back and things could still be okay.

I just feel this was really important to address, because there are people out there who get worried about friendships and making new ones, or trying to save old ones so just need reminding that there are friends everywhere. Just be mindful that things could be happening for a reason.

Until next time,

Asha

 

University life!

So it’s a month in. Your room is starting to feel like your room and your flatmates are starting to become your friends. How are you feeling? I don’t know about you, but I think time has gone by very fast! How are your friendships going? How is your budgeting? How are you overall? I hope everyone who is at university is okay.

I thought about writing this because I haven’t been very well recently and when you feel ill, you don’t want anything more than your home and your parents around you. I have had to look after myself and get better myself, which may sound normal however I’ve usually had my mum or dad to get my food and drink or cuddle me when I am feeling rubbish. It’s been hard but I guess it’s all apart of growing up and being independent. If this is you now, or it will be you in the future, know that you have your flatmates around you and your family are only a phone call away. You will need to care for yourself but there will be people around.

Has anyone else gone home yet? I went home last weekend and although it was weird to be back, I loved being home. I loved being in my own bed and seeing my family and friends and having everything familiar around me. I feel like it is not a crime to want to go home and see family again. I think it can do you good to go home because for me, it reminded me that my more permanent home is at university now and that I was doing the right thing by being at university. It was sad to leave home as it has been my home for so long, but I know this is what is good for me. I can go home for weekends, Christmas etc but for now, this is my home. I feel like going home can put that into perspective and make you realise that you are doing the best thing for you.

How’s your money going? I had to go through it with my dad, but I am not doing too bad. I thought it was helpful to look at all my accounts to see exactly what I had to then be able to budget. After my rent came out, I then had money in there to divide up and budget until my next loan instalment comes in. I know what my weekly allowance is and I think that by having some sort of technique of saving and being careful, you can be sensible with your money and make it last. By knowing what my weekly budget is, I can use that for food, washing etc and then what I have left, I can treat myself to an item of clothing for example. Just be careful with your money. Don’t splash out and throw it away. I now know the struggles of being a student and I can now say it is tough to budget as a student.

How are your friendships going? I think that at university, friends can be all around you. There are lovely people in your course and in your flat and around your accommodation so it can be nice to have people everywhere. I even make friends on a night out on the bus or in the club so it can be very nice to be at uni for the social side especially! I also find that it can be easy to make friendships because everybody is in the same boat and feeling the same so before you know it, you make friends. Your flat is always very important as they are the people you will share a flat with for a year. Luckily I have a very close flat and I love each and every one of them. They are a bit like a second family rather than just my flatmates, which is nice to have. It helps you settle in a bit more.

I hope university life is treating you well and that you are happy. If you are struggling with anything at all, there is always going to be people around to talk to. If that is people at uni, staff or even your friends. You are not alone. Remember that your family are only a phone call away too if you need them. Uni isn’t easy but it will probably end up being the best thing you do. Don’t take it for granted and enjoy it!

Until next time,

Asha

Rest In Peace Beautiful.

As I walk through this campus, I see beautiful things. I see people smiling and holding hands. I see hearts made out of post it notes and I see love. I see support.

As many of you may know, an individual passed away this week at the campus I live in and I am so very sad that this has happened to someone who seemed so lovely. I remember how he came into our kitchen for drinks not even a week ago. He came in with a smile and with a warm personality and sat next to me. We had a nice conversation and danced and sung on the top of our voices to throwback songs. He kissed all of us on the forehead and said his goodbye as he left to go back to his room. He seemed wonderful. He seemed funny. He seemed happy. I am so sorry that this has happened.

I am so sorry to this individual’s family and friends who are going through this traumatic experience. I am sorry that this has happened. I am sorry that it hurts. I am sorry that he’s gone. It is the last thing a parent, a sibling, a friend expects to happen. It seems such an impossible thing to occur. You never thing it will happen so close to home. Most of all, I am sorry.

It is quite hard to know what to say at the moment and I know that it is such a hard time at the moment. This campus feels quiet and lost as the hearts glow on the windows. Nothing I can say will make this situation better, but please know that if this has affected you or you feel this has targeted you, you are not alone. There are going to be a variety of connections of support right now for you. Talk to a flatmate or a family member or a member of staff. There will always be support for you so please try and reach a hand out for it.

I feel like this situation has made me realise that life is so very precious and valuable. It completely puts things into perspective and makes me want to not take anything for granted. I think everyone just needs to take a moment every once in a while to reflect and think about their lives. Something like this can change you and make you think so deeply. Please take a minute to think.

The people and I will stand together. The people and I will hold hands and catch one another when we fall. The people and I will support each other when things get rough and we will be strong and we will be okay.

This has never happened to me so close to home before so it was hard to process it, even if I didn’t properly know the individual, but I know that he is safe right now with the angels and I hope and pray that he is in peace. I am so sorry that this has happened and I am so sorry to his friends and family. Please stay strong and be brave.

Something like this requires sticking together and getting through it as a community and a group. Support is here for those who need it and love is given always. Again, I am so sorry. May you rest in peace, beautiful.

All my love,

Asha

When you feel alone…

We all have it. When we are just sitting there and overthinking everything and it hits us. We are there and we think “Wow. I feel alone”. There has to be have been a time when we feel rubbish about ourselves and feel very isolated.

Now I have started university, I can have my moments of feeling lonely. It hits me when I am sitting there in my room on my own and I am thinking about home and what I am doing with my life and I can get quite down because I realise I am not at home anymore. When your family aren’t around you and you are not in familiar surroundings. You go from lying in your bed at home, with all your belongings and family around you to then suddenly living on your own at uni with your flatmates. It can be a hard transition so it can make you feel a bit down.

All I can say is that if you are feeling a bit down or lonely through being at university, try and give it time. Speak to the people you live with and try and form a friendship with them. I find that when I feel down and I am alone in my room, I tend to knock on someone else’s door and have their company around me because then I don’t feel alone. You will usually find that the other person won’t mind at all and will be happy to have a chat with you. Uni is an amazing experience and I think it just needs time. Give it the time to settle in and adjust. It will be okay I promise. If talking to flatmates doesn’t work, there will always be family and other friends that you can contact on the phone and talk to instead. You are most certainly not alone.

If you are feeling alone just generally, at home for example and you are working full time, try and think of the positives. What is going right in your life? Family? Friends? other positive things going well in your life? I feel that when you feel isolated and lonely, it is always good to put into perspective your life and what is going well. If this doesn’t work, try and meet up with people like friends or family when you have free time so that you can do something nice socially and that’ll cheer you up. It is always good to meet up with people who make you smile and laugh. Just arrange something so then you have something to look forward to. If however your job is getting you down and making you feel down, I think we are the only ones in control of that. There are other jobs out there so try and find something else. We should enjoy our jobs so find something that makes you happy. If that is the reason for being down, change it.

Although others can do a lot to help us and make us feel happier, I feel that to a certain extent, we can help ourselves too. If we feel a bit low and down, why don’t you do something that you know will cheer you up, such as watching a film or taking a nice bath? I feel that others can cheer us up by speaking to them or seeing them but on the other hand, I think we can also contribute to our own happiness. When I feel down, I do something that I know will bring me back up. You know what makes you smile, so do it.

Of course, sometimes we can get down and there isn’t always a reason. It is okay not to be okay from time to time. There are some times when we just feel low, and that passes. We can’t always feel great so sometimes we are stuck in a mood that we don’t necessarily want. It will pass though and it will be okay. It is just something that happens and it does go away.

So feeling isolated and alone can suck. It makes us feel rubbish and we can often ask ourselves why we are in such a mood. If there is something you know that can help you, such as going to talk to someone or watching a comedy, go and do that. If it is just something that you don’t have a reason for, let it pass.

We are beautiful people who deserve every ounce of happiness. We deserve to carry a smile and a laugh. Don’t stop smiling. It’s gorgeous.

Until next time,

Asha